Sky-Diving!!!

I'm going!  April 17th!!!  I'm super-excited!!!

-Jenn

Vacation!!!

Dad and I have the dates for the AZ trip!!!

Conceivably, we're leaving June 6th and returning June 19th or 20th.  More details to come as soon as I get them.

The Missing Peace - My Own Revelation

"Then he said to them all: 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.  For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.'"

Luke 9:23-24

My relationship with Christ used to revolve around this single verse:

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."  John 3:16

I went to this church I have gone to a few times Friday night and Saturday morning for their Women's Day, and let me tell you, these past eighteen hours or so have changed my life in more ways than I would imagine.  I would write more but I have realized I am a bit tired so I am going to take a nap and I will return to this as soon as I wake up.

-Jenn

Edit: 9 hours later...

Ok, so I slept about 3 hours and then I went to the gym and later to the store, so that's why it's taken this long for me to update.

So I was pretty much exhausted, only 5-and-a-half hours of sleep last night.  The reason for which is simple.  I knew that there was no possible way I could make to commutes up to Marietta for both parts of Women's Day, so I was invited to spend the night at a house along with 15 other girls...so you know we stayed up pretty late.  I was a little strange for me to be there, because the girls were from all different campuses and I only knew the ones I had met at KSU.  But it was a great experience and Katey and Christy and their family was very gracious to open up their home to all of these girls.

So, to tell you how I was impacted I would have to tell you in person to fully get my point across.  But something struck me this women's day, something that finally allowed all of my confusion and convictions come into place.

Seeking God is how I ultimately find inner peace.

I don't think I truly began to understand what that meant until last night.  I have spent my entire life being afraid, and because of this fear hovering in my heart I have not allowed myself to live to my full potential; in fact, it has caused problems for me.  In addition to being afraid, I always fought to be accepted and to fit in--to belong...

...Well anyone who really truly knows me knows that I am a very unique individual.  Let's just say I'm...creative!

Even with my faith I was afraid.  I was afraid of my own convictions, afraid of my own beliefs and my own opinions, even if I expressed them aloud.  And I alleviated this pain simply by trying to convince myself that they were wrong...

But I never once gave it to God.  I did not fully trust him.  I did not take all of his story to heart.  I was focused on a single verse, because I thought all it takes to get to heaven is to accept Christ as your lord and savior.

...And maybe that is all it takes, but will that solve the problems and pieces that are missing from your life.  No, and that's where the rest of the Bible (especially the New Testament) comes in.  In about a week or so, I will have finished every book in the New Testament, and it is amazing what I have read; I cannot even describe it all because in reading everything so quickly it almost overwhelmed.  Therefore, I have decided that (starting with the New Testament) I am going to write a journal (which I will transfer into a second blog) about every chapter in the Bible, only this time I will move at a much slower pace so that I can reflect chapter by chapter, maybe 2 chapters per day, and strengthen my own convictions.

I do not believe that I have to be a disciple of Christ to earn God's love.  I already have that.  I have always had it and I always will.  There is no possible way anyone on this planet could ever pay God back for what he sent his son Jesus Christ to do for us.  However, I have realized that by studying the Bible and living my life staying true to the word, I can find some peace at long last as well as live the life that I meant to live.  I am doing this for my life now, because the journey through life on the way to heaven is hard, but with God on my side, I know that there will be battles, but ultimately, we'll win the war.  Luke 9:23-24 is right.  Living and walking with God, which is not an easy task, is the way find peace in life.  And I think the reason for this is because while life is always changing and letting us down and the like, God is not, and he is always here for us.  And that's why I want to put my life into God's hands.  I obviously have not done the best job with it, so let's see what God can do.

Update...

So yeah, it has been awhile since I've updated.  I'm just checking right now, but I promise a longer post either tomorrow or Friday.

Edit: So my nap today gave me a bit of insomnia, so I've decided to finish my update now rather than tomorrow.

So the last time I checked in on here was on February 24, and I'm wondering how I could have possibly let almost an entire month slip by me without updating this blog.  Not cool, so I'm going to try to be a little more faithful to it from now on.

So, taking a nice little trip back in time, I was pretty stressed out over my midterms.  My paranoia was hitting me big time, and I was acting like I was failing all of my classes.  My grades could be better of course, but they are not too bad.  I nearly had a panic attack over my Comparative Politics midterm.  I threw the final essay portion and the professor didn't specify how many points it was worth, so I spent the following weekend thinking that I had failed the exam.  Fortunately, this was not the case, and I found out that I actually almost made a B on the exam.  Not too shabby, I'll study harder next time and bump up the average, but fortunately for me the grade isn't all tests (I hate those kinds of classes).  Next up was French.  It was the Thursday before Spring Break and I was freaking out over the previously mentioned Comparative Politics grade.  The professor handed those grades out right before I had to take my French midterm (well, it wasn't a midterm exactly but it was a unit test).  Anyway, she had left my exam in her office by mistake so I would have to take my french test and then come see her afterwards for the grade.  Now, remember that I had been freaking out before over whether or not I had failed that particular test, so I was incredibly freaked out at this point.  I almost cried, and I went into French and everyone could see sheer panic on my face.  But I still had to take the French test, on which I made a C.  It's really strange.  Lately, I have not done so well as far as test-taking goes, but I think that was just due to stress.  I love French and my professor sees my enthusiasm but he wants me to channel it into good test scores.  Tests aren't worth as much in the class so I'm not worried; I just want to do better because I know that I can.  Science did not go so well either, another C, but really that's all just study issues and I think I'll let work know to take it easy on me with the hours during finals week so that I can do a super awesome job.

Now, there was one mid-term I did not mention, and that's because I took it on Tuesday, and that was for world lit.  The reason this midterm took place after the break was because we had a bit of a snow day the Tuesday before Spring break and evening classes were cancelled.  So my professor moved the midterm.  I think it went pretty well.  It was all essay, but I'm usually pretty good at getting most of my points across on those kinds of things.

Anyway, back to Spring Break.  I took the Friday that Spring Break started off and went horseback riding with Nature Bound.  Now, I can remember every single time I have ridden a horse, and that's because this trip was my third time.  The first time I rode a horse was in Oregon when I was five years old and the second time was when we went to visit one of my Mom's coworkers at her farm and I was ten back then.  So, being almost twenty and seeing that I had not ridden a horse for ten years, I was a little bit nervous.  My horse's name was Sadie (and you can see here in the picture up there) and she was quite the stubborn girl.  I paid attention to the instructor but for some reason Sadie did not want to move!  It was so embarrassing.  Finally, I was able to get her going, and overall it was a good ride.  I was not nervous at all really except for when she would start galloping while we were making our way down a hill (That was a bit scary!) but it was cool and we even got to trot a little bit through some snow!  Now towards the end I experienced a life-or-death moment when Sadie's back hoof slipped into the mud and I could feel myself going backwards-that was absolutely terrifying!  But she got back on her feet and we made our way back to the stable.

Now, the next day was the day before my birthday so I had to continue my birthday celebrations.  Naomi took me out to take some pictures which she is going to develop as a part of my birthday present.  Then we picked up Symone and went to Atlantic Station to see Alice in Wonderland (which was amazing by the way!)  I loved going to Atlantic Station.  After the movie we went to Old Navy and I ran into one of the girls from the daycare I work at (She had gone to the same movie and I was so excited to see her; I love seeing the kids from the daycare out and about!)  I also bought a fabulous purple polka-dotted dress which shows off my calves (which look pretty good now-it's awesome to see what God is doing for my body without being obsessed with the number on the scale).  Anyway, after that we went to this awesome burger place where Nae knew someone who worked there and had burgers.  Now, you might be thinking, "Jennifer, you don't eat beef or pork, so how can you find enjoyment at a burger place?"  Well, this burger place is probably one of the most fabulous places I've ever been to!  It's called Flip-Burger Boutique, and they have all sorts of burgers, from regular beef burgers to turkey burgers, to shrimp burgers, and more!  I had a wild mushroom burger (and it was yummy yummy!) and that was followed by a nutella and toasted marshmallow milkshake (which had a little candle in it because it was my birthday!)  The best part was that Naomi's friend gave us our milkshakes for FREE!!!  Her Mom joined us at the burger joint and we had lots of fun because we weren't just celebrating my birthday, we were celebrating hers too (it's the day after mine)

So Sunday was my actual birthday, and I went to church to see some friends there that I have met at KSU and who have helped me in my journey to grow closer to Christ.  They took me out to Marietta Diner after church and we enjoyed it.  I had never been to Marietta Diner before, and let me tell you, the food is AMAZING!!!  After lunch we split a nice big piece of Tiramisu cake but even between four of us we could not finish it!  After the diner my friends had to go, so I headed over to Sarah Lynn's house for a minute to say hi and to meet her Mom (we were having a sleepover that Friday).  I lost track of time and then I realized I had to get over to Naomi's house because we were going to talk to Amanda on skype.  We were both running late but we were able to chat with Amanda and she told us about what she is doing in South Africa and she also showed us the cat who lives with her (she showed off Naomi's Kitty and Twiggy too!), and Ella popped in to say hello as well.  After that, I went back home to blow out my birthday candles.  My Mom could not find a 2 and a 0 so she gave in and got me 20 individual candles.  I blew them all out on the first try!  After that I worked out and had a nice rest of my birthday.

The next morning I went down to GCSU to talk to advisors and such about the upcoming school year when I transfer down there.  I found out that I will be a Political Science major concentrating in international affairs, so now everything that I wanted to do is within one major (Yay!)  Plus, everything will transfer and while I still have a lot to do, I am excited about going down there.  After I was finished, Cas met up with me and showed me around the school a little bit and we went out for lunch.  I wanted to stay a little bit longer but I really had to get back to Atlanta because I had to work an afternoon shift.

The rest of my week pretty much revolved around work, although on Friday I spent the night with Sarah Lynne and the next day we went bowling.  We also went to this super awesome playground near her house and I realized when we got there that I had been there before!  My Dad took me and my siblings there once a long time ago when we were all kids!  After saying good bye to Sarah Lynne, I went back to Smyrna to sit for two sisters from a daycare, and I had a blast taking care of them for a few hours!

The next few days were stressful due to schoolwork and such.  Keep my campus in your prayers for a girl was found dead beside the Central Parking Deck the morning classes started back.  She was only twenty years old.  We don't know if she committed suicide yet but we do know that her death was caused by a fall from the deck.

As for right now, I need to go to bed.  But the weekend is almost here and for now, the greater hurdles and challenges are over.

Oh, avant que j'oublie (Before I forget), it's still on the drawing board, but it looks like my Dad, my brother, and I are going to be taking a two-week road-trip to Arizona this June!  I am so excited!  It's not totally official yet but my Dad and I are working together and the plan is to drive to Nashville to see my cousin Holly and her boys before driving westward to New Mexico and Arizona.  The best part is that by driving we can probably go to both Phoenix and Tucson so if that happens I'll be able to see all the relatives!